{"id":6393,"date":"2016-07-09T01:21:58","date_gmt":"2016-07-09T01:21:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/flatmate.com\/blog\/?p=6393"},"modified":"2026-04-10T11:19:48","modified_gmt":"2026-04-10T11:19:48","slug":"is-your-flatmate-stealing-from-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/flatmate.com\/blog\/is-your-flatmate-stealing-from-you\/","title":{"rendered":"Is Your Flatmate Stealing From You?"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"6393\" class=\"elementor elementor-6393\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7456090c e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"7456090c\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6009171d elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"6009171d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<h2><strong>Your things keep vanishing and you\u2019re hoping your flatmate isn\u2019t the culprit, but some random act of magic\u2026<\/strong><\/h2><p>It starts with small, obscure items; the magazine you just bought, your beloved coffee mug or the Ferrero Rochers you were saving for a rainy day. Then it evolves to bigger, more valuable belongings like your headphones and favourite jeans and you begin to question yourself &#8211; did you lend them to a mate? Leave them somewhere? Is early dementia setting in?<\/p><p>Then as you come home from work one evening, you catch your flatmate red handed rummaging through your closet. They look startled, back away, \u201cSorry,\u201d they say, \u201cgoing out tonight and I\u2019ve nothing to wear, was hoping you could lend me something.\u201d And you look at them a little bemused &#8211; you might have believed them had they not been a size 8 and you a 16. Oh, and that other minor matter of you being of the opposite sex (unless\u2026).<\/p><p>If you catch your flatmate stealing from you, you feel betrayed, violated. These are your personal belongings \u2013 how dare they? The situation needs to be dealt with swiftly \u2013 but how?<em> \u00a0<\/em><\/p><h2><strong>Firstly, be sure \u2013 are they <em>really<\/em> stealing?<\/strong><\/h2><p>What are we talking about here &#8211; the odd blob of milk or a 15-carat diamond ring? In a flatmate scenario, it\u2019s common to share inconsequential items like toiletries. There might be a valid reason why things keep disappearing. For example, if you\u2019re replacing toilet roll quicker than you renew your underwear, it\u2019s possible you\u2019re not dealing with a thief, but a flatmate with irritable bowl syndrome. And if food keeps vanishing from your fridge, it might come down to the simple fact that your flatmate is a pig.<\/p><p>Be careful not to jump to conclusions of thievery too quickly.<\/p><h3><strong>Establish boundaries.<\/strong><\/h3><p>Discuss with your flatmate what items you\u2019re prepared to share with each other &#8211; Groceries? Clothes? Shoes? Underwear? <em>(Unusual, but who are we to judge).<\/em> Or maybe you\u2019d prefer to keep everything separate to rule out confusion. If you establish boundaries, you\u2019ll have a stronger case should you catch your flatmate taking items you haven\u2019t agreed to.<\/p><h4><strong>Look before you accuse. <\/strong><\/h4><p>Before you bellow, \u2018Stop thief!\u2019 as your flatmate leaves for work one morning in a pair of sunglasses that look decidedly similar to the pair you\u2019re missing, consider the possibility that they really do have the same sunglasses and yours aren\u2019t technically missing, but perched in a location that\u2019s difficult for you to see\u2026 like on top of your head.<\/p><h5><strong>On the other hand\u2026<\/strong><\/h5><p>Ok, so the sunnies do happen to be yours&#8230; Now you have every reason to chase your flatmate down the street and rugby tackle them to the ground. Your flatmate will probably give every excuse under the sun; they thought the sunglasses were theirs, that you didn\u2019t want them anymore or it\u2019s a bright day and they have a hangover\u2026<\/p><p>Fall for none of it.<\/p><p>If they refuse to hand your sunglasses back, honk them on the nose, grab your sunnies and make a run for it. (If they do happen to look pale and squinty in the sunlight, it\u2019s possible they really do have a hangover and you may like to take pity).<\/p><h6><strong>When your flatmate is a thief.<\/strong><\/h6><p>Ok, so you\u2019ve established there are no magicians hiding in your closet and there\u2019s no mysterious hole in your floor swallowing up your things. The plain truth is, your flatmate is stealing from you.<\/p><p>Plop on the kettle and make a nice strong brew &#8211; it\u2019s time for a heart to heart. It won\u2019t be easy. In fact, it will be one of the cringiest things you\u2019ll ever do, but if you\u2019re to uncover the size and scale of your flatmate\u2019s problem and the number of items they\u2019ve stolen from you, you have to confront them.<\/p><p>The secret is to not show too much hostility &#8211; you have a greater chance of them opening up to you if you\u2019re not holding them down by the throat. Swallow your bitterness and tell them you\u2019re not angry, that you understand, these things happen. Then tell them you want your things back\u2026 pronto. If they refuse &#8211; and you happen to have a handy pair of handcuffs &#8211; cuff them to the nearest secure object and make a dash for their bedroom. Here\u2019s your chance to take back your things (while you\u2019re at it, you might like to grab a few extras \u2013 there\u2019s probably very little that actually belongs to them anyway).<\/p><h6><strong>Final advice.<\/strong><\/h6><p>In all seriousness, we don\u2019t advise handcuffing people or tackling them to the ground (although the odd nose-honking is acceptable if they have stolen something particularly sentimental).\u00a0 One should always attempt to resolve these matters amicably with the end goal of showing your flatmate the door (or, if it\u2019s not your house, making a quick exit with all your belongings in hand).<\/p><h6><strong>Over to you \u2013 have you ever lived with a flatmate you suspected was stealing from you?<\/strong><\/h6>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Your things keep vanishing and you\u2019re hoping your flatmate isn\u2019t the culprit, but some random act of magic\u2026 It starts with small, obscure items; the magazine you just bought, your beloved coffee mug or the Ferrero Rochers you were saving [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":564,"featured_media":6397,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[481],"tags":[240,241],"class_list":["post-6393","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-living-together","tag-stealing","tag-thief"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.4 (Yoast SEO v27.4) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Is your flatmate stealing from you?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"What can I do if my flatmate is stealing from me. 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