In love with your flatmate

So, you have feelings for your housemate

Are you in love with your housemate?

We came across a question about love on Quora recently where someone asked “What can I do if I am having feelings for one of my housemates?

Great question! We’d bet next week’s rent on most of us being in this situation before.

It is actually a tough one especially given we need to live under the one roof with them. We are around them most days. Being around someone that you have feelings for, or even feel love for, can be emotionally very difficult.

Most people would probably advise to never sleep with a housemate. Here at we accept we are only humans, and feelings do sometimes get in the way. Firstly, don’t beat yourself up about it. We are only human. Now that we have that out of the way, let’s look at what we can actually do about it.


If your housemate is already in a relationship you will need to tread carefully. That’s not to say that deep down inside you may be destined to be together. Ask yourself some questions.

Is it just lust, or is there a deeper connection?

Have you played out a potential relationship in your mind, and what would that look like?

We do know of people who have slept with and even been in relationships with their housemates, and in the end, the relationship may not have worked out, but they did remain friends.

If you do decide to approach your housemate, a good opening line could be this “I just wanted to let you know that I need to move out, as I have feelings for you, and it’s impacting how I am acting around the house. I’m sorry to dump this on you, but I wanted to be honest as you may be wondering why I have been acting strange.”

There is no clear cut one size fits all solution for this. Follow your heart, and your head, and most of all, be respectful. Accept any rejection if you do pursue your feelings, and be prepared to move out if it all goes pear shaped.

Good Luck!

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